promiseoftin

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promiseoftin

My newest Substack covers ADHD and the "freeze" that happens with too many choices. You ever have that problem?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

ysabetwordsmith

I have various ways of dealing with it.

* If I plan to buy something, I often research in advance so I can see what the options are and think about what I need. Usually I can ignore a bunch of stuff because it's not relevant. Often I can find reviews that will discuss pros and cons. For games, I use Board Game Geek which has a ton of useful features including tags for mechanics, pictures of the pieces, and videos.

* If there are clear categories, first batch by categories. Frex, jellies can be lumped into red, purple, and yellow. Drop anything that doesn't suit. Frex, my partner dislikes grape. So then instead of 4 dozen jars, I am only looking at maybe 1 dozen at a time. Think about how many you want to buy and whether they should be the same or different. I'll usually go for 2-3 and make them different colors. This way if I'm baking thumbprint cookies, it will be easy to distinguish the flavors.

* I usually cross off the cheapest and most expensive in a set of similar items.

* Does anything stand out as having clearly better features? I've been mulling over which sprinkler to get for a while, and spotted a metal one that was better than a plastic one but still had multiple spray shape options. So I got the metal one. Options are good, and metal is sturdier.

* If I'm playing a complex board game, "Just pick something" is a totally valid move. Moving the game forward is more fun than dithering over what is the "best" choice, which I am bad at.

Thing is, good tactics to handle choice paralysis vary because different things will help different people. You have to know how your mind works, what makes you happy or unhappy, then try different solutions until you find some that work for you. However, it is often very helpful to talk with other neurodiverse folks, because when each person has a handful of ideas, you can wind up with a really long list of possible solutions to test. Usually at least one or two will prove effective.

From:

wantedonvoyage

Too many, like two?? I'm terrible at making decisions.

From:

promiseoftin

I hear that!

From:

promiseoftin

what makes you happy or unhappy

That SO resonates for me! Going with my heart is often the best choice for me.

From:

low_delta

Question... what would happen if you decided to purposely pick a subpar restaurant?

From:

promiseoftin

Deeeeeep embarrassment

From:

sarahblack

While I relate to wanting everything I do to be perfect on the first try it doesn't really apply to minor decisions the way you're describing. That sounds really hard!